Reflections on Aging and Death.
So, it’s pretty much a fact that we’ll all die someday. But how we deal with this fact, is very different from person to person.
I’m pretty young but I’d say not young enough to have death truly mean something.
Personally, I’m scared of the concept of death. Though I’m not necessarily scared of dying, I just can’t deal with the concept of death itself.
What is it like to NOT be conscious?
I guess that’s why dreamless sleep scares the fuck out of me. Who knows if I’ll ever wake up?
I guess that’s why I hate being under anesthesia; it’s why I hate not being conscious of my actions.
The fact that I am alive today, instead of those million other sperm cells that could have been someone else, is something I’m more than grateful for.
I have a feeling many of those who may have come to terms with their mortality quite simply have to.
There is no option.
You rarely choose when you want to die, and many of those who choose to do so, always regret it a split second later.
I wish death was an option; something to be chosen at will than rather have inflicted on you.
I know I’m most definitely not alone on this. I know the transhumanists seek every way to transcend the frailty of their human bodies. But I’m not ready to devote myself to singular ideological thinking.
I just want to live.
But the way with which time has been both fast and slow during this lockdown makes me wonder if old age will come for me when I do not realize it.
I do not want to wither away.
I scour Google and read the latest breakthroughs in life extension research.
I follow David Sinclair on every social media platform I’m active on.
I just want to live until I personally choose not to, and that means live indefinitely.
Perhaps it’s a need for control, or a desire to achieve something truly beneficial to humankind.
Perhaps, I just don’t like the idea eternal sleep.
But overall, I simply cannot stand the concept of death.
I am filled with anger at the thought thereof.
Is it that we do not harm nature with the infinitude of our masses. If so, let us preserve her and make her immortal in all her beauty.
Is it that we have an urge to work towards something productive? But then tell me one great work that was accomplished from the perspective that one is going to die. Is it a work of great execution? If it is, then I doubt it was written in a rush.
The perception of scarcity dulls our minds.
It makes us lose sight of the grander scheme of things.
I write this as a note to myself; That I remind myself that there are two things I should always try my best to do.
Live as if time were infinite: You suck at doing things in a rush. Your math is terrible. Your writing is terrible when you rush it. You get those around you worried when you’re all panicky. Live life as if you had more to spare, and maybe you will.
Find a way to live longer.
With those principles, live your life to the best of your capacity. Make it feel both as long and as fruitful as you like. Under no means shall you undermine those principles.
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